Adult Asperger’s Video 5. Living in a Bubble – Advice on Dealing With Diagnosis (Part 2)
My name’s Anthony King and welcome back to my video series about mild autism spectrum disorder in adults based on my book “Living in a Bubble”. Let’s continue from where we left off in our last video together…
Regret
It is natural to look back with regrets and even feel shame. You will look back and consider the people you may have offended or hurt with deep sadness. What I will say is to consider this. Even in your deepest pain you are finding the time to look outwards and consider the feelings of others from the past, a past that you can’t change and that in itself says a lot about you as a person. You have self-awareness and heart. That is a positive and amazing thing. Not everybody has this. You can still travel through the emotion of regret and shame but just remember to be kind to yourself and not be too harsh. The most important thing is that you change from this moment so that you do what you can do and nothing more or nothing less. Forgive your old self who didn’t know better and embrace the new self with your new discovery and never make the old mistakes again.
Peace
You will probably at some point also feel a sense of peace because you finally have an answer. If this peace is teamed with personal forgiveness and a sense of change, this can be extremely powerful and positive for you. You will feel mixed emotions but everything is valid, most are temporary emotions. Experience the good and the bad and get through them. You will, without doubt, become a better person if you can learn from these emotional responses and address them.
Anger
Anger is a normal emotion. Embrace it and process it. You might be resentful towards people from your past because, when you look back with renewed clarity, you realise that you may have been taken advantage of and wasted years on things you didn’t realise and couldn’t control. You will feel sadness that you didn’t find out earlier. You may realise that people treated you as less than human or were rude to you. You may feel that you have to be better and have to work harder than “normal” people to get the same results as them. Do I need to remind you of the power within you? You have immense power inside of you to overcome. If you can embrace those emotions, and resolve them and move on you can use these emotions to energise your future. You cannot change one second of the past but you can learn from it. So, extract this value and use any emotional experience or sadness to that end. What can I extract that is of value from that experience and this emotion? This is the way you turn this into a personal victory.
Be angry! Then be intelligent!
After acknowledging feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness and negative emotion make sure you give the same respect to the positive strengths you have acquired too.
Mourn
There will come a point when the reality will set in that you are autistic. You won’t now feel like you are “special” or “different” but that you are messed up and or at a disadvantage to other “normal” people. You may feel trapped. It’s affected your whole life, probably adversely, and caused immense pain. It isn’t going to disappear. These are legitimate. It’s time to mourn and to be upset and expel those emotions and feelings as best as you can because there is nothing you can do, other than that, about those previous factors. You are allowed to be upset about this. It’s normal.
Heal
Once the shock has passed you will soon realise that you CAN live because you’ve lived this far. However, this time you have a whole new perspective and advice and help. Finally a light shines in the darkness. Grasp it! It’s time for positive change. Life is hard for everyone. This is your chance to change the script. Write it from this day forth in the most positive way you can for yourself! Do this for yourself! You got this far without knowing – you now KNOW! You can adjust now. You can make changes now. You can change the situation! It’s time to heal and continue down a positive road. It will take a lot of hard work and it is a constant daily process. This is one of the joys of life. Mould your life like a project! You are the project manager. The process of healing will ultimately, be a positive journey for you and worthwhile. If you ever need help for any unresolved issues in your life you should consult a medical expert who can help you.
Thank you for joining me today. We’ll continue with more in our next video. See you then.