Adult Asperger’s Video 18. Living in a Bubble – Psychological Devices And Techniques (Part 2)
My name’s Anthony King and welcome back to my video series about mild autism spectrum disorder in adults based on my book “Living in a Bubble”. Let’s continue from where we left off in our last video together and conclude this series.
Enthusiasm and Extending Your Bubble to Include Others
If you walk into a bar, let’s say and you are insecure and uncomfortable and feeling like you live in your bubble and order a drink. You, as well as not particularly enjoy the experience, will probably not have any enjoyable human interactions. However, the same “you” walks into a bar, which is linked in some way to your passion i.e., it’s en route to a location, or is intrinsically linked histrionically or architecturally to your passion and you enjoy the interest in it for that alone, you will see things will happen! At the very least you will enjoy the experience because it is aligned with your passion. For example, you walk into a special building with special architecture. You sit down and really take an interest in that architecture and the design of the room and the ergonomics of the table, the set design, the menus etc. Human beings are curious beings and are attracted to enthusiasm! So, when somebody sees YOU having a good time for real, SOMEBODY will want to be part of AUTHENTIC action. Just the same way, if you stand in a busy street and look up, people will look up too! Or stand and point, people will be curious. At that time, you can explain your passion and at that moment, just for a moment, you have succeeded in extended your bubble to include them … in a bar! Even if nothing becomes of it, you’ve had a meaningful conversation, about something you enjoy in a location that is in some way linked to something you’re passionate about. That in itself is a great thing and I can guarantee that if you keep doing this, eventually, your circumstances will change and your bubble will grow over time. Not putting pressure on people or imposing your expectations on them is a VERY ATTRACTIVE THING. They will WANT to be around you if you make this a way of life because you will want nothing and provide enthusiasm, energy and value and be a living example of somebody that is brave enough to follow their passion. You will see… so few people have the courage to do it, that when you do it, you will be “different” and if you already feel “different”, then you might as well embrace it and go all the way! In other words, embrace the bubble! That bubble can be your doorway to self-improvement, knowledge and living enthusiastically which can and probably will lead to, not you leaving the bubble but the world joining you inside. You can find much more detail on this as well as practical techniques to help in my book, Living in a Bubble. That includes, the “traffic light system” where you really want to assosiate with those “greens”, and if you’ve read the book you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. You will probably find some other consequences and unexpected benefits of all this, including:
You will not tolerate disrespect, time wasters or nonsense any more
Your value of yourself and self-respect levels increase
You become more attractive
You are filled with more enthusiasm
Your contentment levels increase
Your meaningful interactions increase
Become closer to your life goal and passion
You will become more generous and notice the “small” things more
And last but not least … ‘the 20%’
There is a proportion of people in this world that are real life “heroes”. I don’t know if the percentage is 20% but I can tell you that these people are the people who have empathy and sensitivity and consideration. If you go back to the traffic light system that I gave you in the book, they will be the “greens” on your list. Focus on those “greens”. Surround yourself with “greens” and invest in them.
Your Way Is the Only “Right” Way for You
You can find your own way… you can do it! In a way, nobody can give advice how to discover yourself and what works for you, except you. It’s from within. You can evolve based on your own knowledge and experience. You are 100% in charge, you are the captain, YOU are the expert. You won’t get it in full, from this book, or any book because it is your duty and responsibility to create a process or routine or a plan that works for you in your life. On the other hand, you will get closer to the destination, regardless, because you can gain knowledge from any book, experience or human being in an apophatic sense. This means that if it doesn’t work for you, then at least you know it doesn’t work you. There is much value in even that. Focus on creating your own “guide book” for yourself through knowledge and experience. Good luck! You can do this!