Dance Advice | Dance FAQ’s | Some inspiration – John’s Story
Some inspiration – John’s Story
John Dover, a successful businessman, owner of one of the top chains of bakeries in London, which he built from nothing – was fed up. Although he was a successful businessman who, on the surface looked like he had everything, there was just one thing that always bugged him. He was afraid of dancing and felt that he couldn’t do it. This had a major impact on the quality of his social interactions and he hadn’t danced for years. Whenever he went to weddings or found the courage to go into a club, he would just stand at the side and have a drink. The problem for John is that this had gone on for so long it was really getting to him. When he could bear it no longer, he reached the point where the unhappiness outweighed the fear of seeking help. Although in his mind, it was impossible for him to dance or be taught, he plucked up the courage to go to the dance school’s website and make contact. This might have caused embarrassment; but for him it was a big step. And no more embarrassing than all those years of standing on the side-lines. I asked him to tell me what he wanted me to do for him and what he wanted to get out of this, what were his aims? He was convinced there was no hope but there was a big wedding coming up, and it would be nice not to go straight to the bar when the music started. He went on to say that he was kind of large and shy as well. Interesting, I thought. The great thing is that he was totally honest and upfront from the beginning. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain. No ego and no expectations… We arranged to meet at the dance studios. John later went on to describe his fear when he entered the building and how it literally hit him and made him feel intimidated. Well as I saw him across the canteen above the studio, I thought to myself, “This guy looks great and very established.” He explained how he felt and I told him not to worry. After we got started, I asked him to show me how he usually dances. He told me that he doesn’t at all, and hasn’t ever. Interesting but not a barrier. The curious thing is that because he had nothing to lose and everything to gain, he just listened and repeated and repeated (and repeated!) until he started to get it. After a few private lessons he said that he now had the courage to try and come to a public dance class. He came prepared, early and ready to go. He hid in the corner and tried his hardest, but he survived and met lots of likeminded people. It’s a different world on the other side of the glass and everyone is in the same boat trying to learn. Now John started to come more and more regularly; within two to three months he had moved up to the front of the class and people were asking him how long he had been attending. John thought that this was unbelievable! He was just a baker who couldn’t dance at all! But he was progressing because he took action; he took that first impossible step. But that’s not the end of the story. John came out for a drink with some friends, one of which was a casting director who was looking for one more male who could act, for a commercial. He said that John looked perfect for the job and could he come along to the casting? Now you have to remember that this is all a big joke to John…an MD of a big company, being asked to be in commercials…this was all too surreal! Well, within a few weeks John was on television in a music commercial. After that, he was contacted by one of the biggest dairy companies in the world who thought that he would make a perfect baker in their commercial too…big money and worldwide! John’s life had transformed in a matter of weeks and his confidence was soaring. He had learned to let go of his fear and to just relax. He had learned to dance and he had made lots of new friends along the way and now was on his way to becoming a star too! Wow! The transformation from that first email to now is shocking. But the most important thing in John’s story is that he took the first fearful step and then he just proceeded to take more little steps. Just small steps, nothing immediately life changing or earth shattering and look at the positive transformation: unbelievable. He is exactly the same person that wrote that first email, just with a different attitude and perspective. Oh, and one more thing…the wedding! Well, well… John travels off to his best friend’s wedding and boy did he have a surprise lined up for his best friend! During the dancing, the announcement came over the loudspeakers to clear the dance floor… John was going to do a dance solo. He was going to perform! The music came on, he did it, the whole place erupted in applause and the deed was done. He had won, he had overcome another challenge that he thought was impossible and not only had he overcome it, but he also obliterated all self-doubt. But there’s more… at the wedding he meets a girl who thinks that he’s amazing and is so impressed by his amazing dancing skills. She moves over to London and they’re now getting married! Now that’s a great story. John is an amazing man and I am honoured to be part of somebody’s dreams coming true. Take the small step. You have nothing to lose. Take a look at the character Edmond Dantes in the great Alexandre Dumas’ classic novel The Count of Monte Cristo. For the first couple of years of his imprisonment in the Château d’If, he sat banging his head against the solid rock wall doing nothing but turning to madness and then after a long period of time he realised something. He started scratching at the wall, and small fragments would fall off, admittedly they were almost invisible, but after a few hours, he had scraped off about a handful. He calculated that if he had done this for two years, instead of squandering his time, then he could have dug a passage two feet across and twenty feet deep. And realising this, the prisoner regretted not having devoted the long hours that had already passed, ever so slowly, to the task…however slow the work, how much would he have achieved in the six or so years that he had spent buried in this dungeon! The idea fired him with renewed enthusiasm. The message is clear: the time you spend procrastinating – could be time doing! Take hope from Edmond Dante (and John!). Edmond escaped the terrible dungeon of the Château d’If by slow, seemingly tedious fruitless digging through solid rock…but over time it worked for him and he achieved his goal. All you need is time and a small amount of action toward your desired goal and you’ll be on the right track.